Keeping it real as a mother
Do you ever feel the need to put on a brave face even though feeling seemingly exhausted from the night before or perhaps this mornings rush? Or perhaps because your little one still throws tantrems even though you’ve tried every form of discipline in the the book and he still does it? Do you feel like you need to only talk about the good stuff about your child or motherhood/parenthood? Isn’t it more tiring? I often go through fazes of that. I guess it can be said that different people bring out certain behaviour types in us. It is also true that we put alot of pressure on ourselves to be where we really want to be when we haven’t even reached that point as yet.
I always thought that by the time I have my second child I will know everything there is know about babies/ raising kids. Boy did he prove me wrong. Cole turned out to be the complete opposite of Liam in many, many ways. Don’t get me wrong, I have learned alot in my parenting journey with Liam, I know where I failed, and I continually strive to improve, with both him and Cole. But there is always more to learn.
So Cole started crawling at 5 and a half months. By 7 months he had 8 teeth. He started walking against stuff from about 6 and a half months. Of course at this point I am now thinking that he will be ahead in all of his milestones. Not. He will be 11 months on the 1st of August 2017 and I still have to hold his bottle. What? Liam started holding his bottle at about 6 months!! Month after month goes by and the more time goes by, the more I internally panic that something is wrong. To the point that I actually feel like perhaps I need to take him to the paediatrician.
Over the weekend we visited some dear friends. A couple with two kids. In conversation I mentioned that Cole isn’t holding his own bottle and I am concerned. She immediately told me he won’t hold his bottle because I hold it for him. At this point I am totally confused, because in my mind, I’m holding his bottle for him because he won’t do it. I just had to put her theory to the test. I placed him on my lap, put the bottle in his mouth then let go of it. It fell on his chest. Not even a split second later, and walaaah! He picks up the bottle, places it in his mouth, and drinks!! I could not believe my eyes. Obviously I had to prove that this was really happening.
So I tested the theory in the opposite way. While he was holding the bottle, I began to hold it to see his reaction and walaaah! He immediately let go. It is clear that I was the only thing holding him back. I know that Cole is my last baby and I so badly want every little baby stage to last as long as possible because I know I will not get the opportunity to do this again and being of mother of two, I know that they grow so so quickly, that they are babies the one minute and tweens the next. So I may have subconsciously held his bottle for him without giving him a chance.
Either way, the lesson I learned here, is that sharing your concerns with dear friends can prove to be rewarding. We don’t always have to only talk about the great achievements of our kids and how we’ve got everything under control. And I’m not saying that we should not talk about our kids achievements. If anything, as mothers, we of all people should know that it is extremely hard to have everything under control and be on top of our game always. But if we share some of our concerns with those we care about and who care about us, we might just learn some valuable info and could make a big change in our, or our kids lives. Keep it real mama’s, always..
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